What do I really want to “be” when I grow up?

I’m nearing 50, but still find myself asking this question. I sometimes wonder if that’s “normal?”

What I know for sure:

It seems that I always need to be learning something new, doing something different, or exploring other options.

I’ve had four careers thus far: teaching, office management/legal assistant, corporate training, and HR. I’ve gained something from each one and have continued to advance professionally as I grew personally. I really enjoy the work that I do now (and am, of course, grateful to be employed), but I also yearn to continue to learn new things, "try on new hats," pursue additional paths. Do I bore easily? In a different time, would I have been diagnosed with ADD?

I am happiest when I’m doing something artistic or creative.

I mentioned when I started this blog that it was because I had discovered I no longer had a creative outlet and I know that I need one. I am really enjoying delving into writing and have even pulled out a 50 page skeleton for a novel that I started about five years ago – thinking about tinkering with it in my spare time. I love crafting, but don’t seem to have the time or the room for the constant mess. (I enjoy electronic scrapbooking for that less-messy reason.) I love to make wreaths and flower arrangements. I often look at things at art fairs and think to myself, “I could do that. Why would I buy that when I could do it myself?” I used to draw, but haven’t picked up a sketchbook or pencil in years. I love making music. I took piano lessons for years, but haven’t played in a long time and we don’t have a piano now. I used to be in choir and show choir in high school and still love to sing.

I honestly think that, whenever I try to conform and force myself to do work that isn’t in some way creative, I’m fighting genetics.

This is my great grandfather, Charles William Read, and his business card. He painted ornate murals and decorative art in theaters all around the country.

This is one of Charles' daughters, Grace Pearl Read Pollard, my grandmother's sister. She played piano with Hogey Carmichael and was a touring musician in a small band with her husband. It is family lore that she was the first person Carmichael trusted to play his newly written song,"Stardust." She played piano by ear and I was in awe of her as a child. (Wasn't she beautiful here?)

This is Charles' mother and father (my great-great-grandparents), William English Read and Harriett Isadora Martin Read. He was blind, but was still a professional pianist, and she was an opera singer. They met when he was playing piano for an opera in which she was starring.

So, although there's not much point to this particular blog post, writing it has been a bit cathartic. Thanks for reading along. In the meantime, personally, I think I'll just continue to look for creative opportunities on the side to help me feel more well-rounded and purposeful.

In any case, I would be interested in hearing if others still muse about what they want to do "when they grow up," even though their path seems to be fairly well set?